I've noticed people in TV shows and real life who meet anyone for the first time and speak with them whether for 10 minutes or one hour and end up forming a super cool impression of themselves. As I reach my mid 30s, I realize I need to be that person, from social, dating, and professional standpoints.

I've realized that while I can make an okayish first impression, I'm easily forgettable. There's nothing standout and I'm like one of the indistinguishable figures in Where's Wally/Waldo? I've been on a handful of dates last year but I could never break the barrier to get them interested. They wanted to stay friends (ouch!).

I don't have a social circle because I just don't know how to make friends. It's the same professionally.

I can't tell what's the issue with me. Is it because I'm quiet? Or if I appear off-putting or creepy because of my shyness? Or if I'm seen less of a man because of my lack of social skills and people/women don't see me worth being their friend/romantic interest?

I'm a good listener and I ask good questions. But somewhere the job of an unpaid therapist has to stop and I've to be the guy they see as a guy to be befriended/pursued. Whether I'm meeting someone for the first time or the nth time, how can I become a great conversationalist? And how to avoid awkward pauses or silences? Is there a book that would get me started?

From the post, you may have figured out that I'm desperate right now, and I would really appreciate any advice you may have. Thank you!